White Elephant

I put one word wrong,
then a foot,
then the other one.

I knew I’d made myself a rod,
a steel root
I stumbled back upon.

And thus, like so many others,
I must face
my punishment.

The white beast dished out
to turn lace:
an elephant.

The beast of burden and of shame,
Ensured everybody would know my name,
For it got placed on a long and lonely list,
Made up of crazy, foolish idiots.

I went into a slow decline,
Lengthened by riches
My lifewould become defined
By feeding with an animal from ditches.

My ruin began with a new collection of bills
The cost of this new life of frills:
A diet for a giant vegetarian,
A specialist white elephant veterinarian,


A house fit for the king and his ilk,
Straw-hay bed as soft as purest silk.
I hired a man just to clean up its mess
And to clean the button (under some duress).

A polisher to polish its tusks,
A seranader to serenade it at dusk.
A bather to bathe its wrinkly skin,
A masseuse to massage oils in.

Triple the land to let it stretch its legs,
Plenty of lakes to let it cool those pegs.
I gave it a mate so it could raise a family
At the cost of my own family’s sanity.

A manicurist to keep its nails neat,
A pedicurist to keep well its feet.
A hunter to protect from wild beasts,
Special birds for to on parasites feast.

All these things and a heck of a lot more
Found their way into making me hit the floor,
For when all these things were up totted,
They hit a peak and down we all trotted.

Downsizing in land, downsizing in house,
My family moved on to a more secure spouse.
Until I wound up, as I said earlier,
Firmly in the gutter with my familiar.

I learned the hard way
Not to outstay.
And so I write this down
In the hope you’ll not drown.

So, to stop yourself becoming devoid,
As says the rhyme I’ve been trying to avoid:
Never piss off the King of Siam,
Or you’ll end up as poor as I am.


All this I record in the sand,
Before taking one last swim
Ending with the last reach of my hand.